Moving On

Trying to move on from the very emotional Mother's Day I had yesterday. I knew it would be tough, but figured I'd make it through. I was not expecting the hour of crying, and empty feeling I carried with me all day long. Felt proud to be a mother myself, but felt worse that I couldn't call my own mom and share that excitement. I miss her so very very much! I miss our phone conversations about nothing, sitting around the house together cause I was bored doing it alone, going to Zumba classes and laughing at ourselves, taking the dogs or Ashlyn for a walk, her cooking instructions, shopping for cute clothes for Ashlyn and Madison, her singing to Ashlyn as they cuddled on the couch, her "I love you's" everytime we said goodbye! Basically everything, I miss everything about my mom!

I'd like to think I will be the same type of mother to Ashlyn she was to me, loving, selfless, always put us first, giving of her time and herself, beautiful inside and out, just a really good person. I fear that I will lose bits of her as time goes on, that terrifies me. I want to be just like her, a best friend, an amazing mother! My little girl has already grown so fast, I hope she feels safe and loved, just like mom made me feel.

To all the Mother's out there.....Hope you had a wonderful, care free, Mother's Day!