Messy Love

Love isn't always hugs, and "I love you's".  The things we LOVE about our kids, and our life, are the often messy occurrences and regular day to day moments.  So here is to getting our hands dirty, and filling our hearts with messy good memories.  I don't always LOVE what my kids are doing, but I LOVE that we try to turn a mess into an experience. 

LOVE IS: waiting to go on a road trip

LOVE IS: Sticking our feet (or bottoms) in cold water

LOVE IS: Taking a nature hike with good friends

 LOVE IS: Eating Spaghetti

LOVE IS: Being naked while eating spaghetti

LOVE IS: Foam painting on a sunny day

LOVE IS: Getting scratched in the face by your little brother

LOVE IS: Building shelves in the garage

LOVE IS: Finger painting

LOVE IS: Standing on chairs and spilling apple juice on the floor

LOVE IS: Pajama snuggles by the trash can

 LOVE IS: Napping with your brother on the couch

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.  ~Joyce Brothers

Easter Eggs and Indy

We are so lucky that 1)our neighborhood has lots of kids in it and 2)that there are organized events for major holidays. As always it was a great turn out, and the kids loved running around for their 1st Easter egg hunt of the season. Austin quickly caught the hang of picking up eggs and putting them in the basket. He got a little distracted when he realized their was candy inside, but he still managed to do a lot with little assistance.

Cherry Lane Farms Easter Egg Hunt

Sunshine and a basket full of candy, success!

Stopping to enjoy a sugary snack

The following week we had Ashlyn's Easter party at preschool. The kids munched on carrots, made egg shakers, sang "Jesus is Alive", and had a fun Easter egg hunt on the playground. Ashlyn was most excited to wear her pretty dress to school. She looked absolutely Gorgeous in it. I remember helping my mom pick it out for Madison, so it felt special to see my big girl in it now.

Making an Easter Egg Shaker

Waiting in line for the hunt

March 31st turned out to be a not so great day to mark on the calendar. Although it is Ashley's birthday, Ashlyn decided to mark it with her own memory. After flipping around doing cartwheels all morning, she fell over crying that her arm hurt. The cry was harder, the pain lasted longer (she normally stops crying within minutes), she didn't want pressure on it, held it funny, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the couch. All things that just didn't feel right. So off to the Dr. we went.....after 2 hours, an X-ray, and an ER visit.....we had 1 fractured forearm. Clearly Matt and I were concerned at how easily she broke her arm (especially being her second break), but Dr.'s assure us her bone density is good and it was most likely a fluke. Thankfully the cast is waterproof this time, but still: here is to hoping for NO more broken bones, EVER!!!

Hanging out with daddy at Children's hospital

All smiles with her temporary cast

Easter celebrations and fun continued with a fun evening with Ducky and Jill. They came down to babysit so that mommy and daddy could have a night out. Felt guilty going after she broke her arm that morning, but she was more sad that she'd miss out on hanging out with Ducky than us leaving her. They made her night bringing down EAster baskets full of books, an adorable dress, balls, and some candy. And Ashlyn is still talking about coloring Easter eggs with them!

One armed Easter Egg dying

Ducky's artistic side in action

Last, but certainly NOT least.....Easter Weekend! We planned a little vacation to Indianapolis with Matt's family since no other family was coming into town for the holiday. Ashlyn was so excited and talked about it for weeks. We all hopped into a rented mini van, and made the quick 2 hour drive. Friday we went straight to the Zoo, which was fabulous. My favorite was the adorable baby elephants, Austin got a kick out of the Rhino's and Ashlyn loved touching a shark.

We then spent ALL day Saturday at the Children's museum. It was Fabulous. Even without naps, both kids lasted 6 hours. I think Austin loved it as much as Ashlyn. We went to the planetarium, saw an hour long play, and hit up nearly the whole museum. Finished up the evening with some pizza and a really fun horse & carriage ride around downtown Indy.

Easter morning we went to mass at a Gorgeous church downtown. Easter service and the message is a bit tough since it was also the day mom rose, and i had my moments of sadness, but overall I just felt a sense of peace. I loved that we did something different for Easter. Created memories that the kids and us will certainly remember more than just another ham dinner at home. It was a Fabulous weekend! (and the hotel pool made a 3 yr old very happy)

Our Family at the Zoo

Daddy and Dinosaurs- Roar!

Taking over the Reef

Mr Potato Head Land

Uh Oh- Daddy's in the doghouse

Bayers and a Carriage Ride

Easter Sunday in downtown Indianapolis

My beautiful family!

And of course we couldn't finish out the Easter weekend without an Easter Egg hunt at Mimi and Papa's house. They hid enough eggs for all 6 grandkids, but Ashlyn and Austin had no problem finding them all. So much fun!

Hunting easter eggs at Mimi & Papas

My bunnies!!

And A Lot of Easter Eggs

On the Other side

Mother was a stickler for goodbyes. Through my school days, she would stand in the front window and wave goodbye as my bus passed the house. In college she walked me out to the terminal and stood there and waved from the window as my plane pulled away. On the phone, she never hung up a phone call without saying "I love you". She didn't let you walk away without knowing you were loved, thought of, and already missed!

So when do we really ever say goodbye for good? Learning to live with the loss of my mom is one thing, but truly saying goodbye is another. I've accepted she is gone, I've accepted life is different, but I feel like I've never really truly said goodbye. When I read these song lyrics something spoke to me. I don't really have to say goodbye to her, she's just in a better place.

Lyrics from Dailey and Vincent "On the Other Side"

Well I've never been to heaven,
I didn't know what it was like
But God let me have a glimpse,
in my dream last night
And I could hear you laughing,
you were looking right at me
For the first time in a long time,
on your face I saw some peace
I knew everything was going to be all right,
no more tears and no more sad good-byes,
on the other side

What I have learned in the last 3 years......I will find myself raising my voice at my kids and thinking, how did mom never yell at us....and i change my tone. Or I get focused on material things, and it sinks in that my mother never boasted or flaunted her nice things.....and i get a reality check. I honestly don't know if I would be so in tune with these life lessons were she here. Her loss left me with something great.....motherly examples to live my life by. I strive EVERY day to be as generous, caring, humble, and loving as my mother. Big shoes to fill, and I realize I am my own person, but I want to pass on those amazing traits and qualities to my own children so it is worth the effort.

I am a better person than i was 3 years ago, and I think it is because when she left us, she left little pieces of herself behind for us to grow into. So thank you mom, for always being a part of me! I love and miss you TERRIBLY!!

Picture perfect (she was so proud of the 4 of us)

My High School Graduation

No words.... so thankful Ashlyn had those few months

March Madness

Seriously some March Madness going on....we had 80 degree weather in March. The first official day of Spring was 87. Not normal to be wearing shorts and sundresses this time of year in ohio.

Austin at 18 months is saying....noooo (in a cute, long drawn out way) and mine. By the end of the month he was also saying "I Yuv you, and Sank you" He loves to sing happy birthday and baa baa black sheep. Everyone keeps saying how much older he looks, which i think is due to his hair growing longer quickly. It is starting to curl in the back, I love it! He is all boy: obsessed with watching basketball and asking to go over to get the Bball at JuJu's house. He also has this annoying habit of throwing everything across the room, you have to be on your guard at all times. Although all boy, he is super sweet wanting to feed and carry Ashlyn's baby dolls. He also gets a kick out of wearing Ashlyn's shoes....I just go with it! He finally got his bottom 2 canines, which have been waking him up at night and driving him crazy. And he totally is that kid who falls asleep in random places....like while eating lunch at the table.

Ashlyn has been a roller coaster of emotions recently. You don't really know which Ashlyn you are going to get at the beginning of the day. She is showing some angry and frustration when things don't go her way. This includes slamming doors for no reason and being mean to Austin, just cause. She when is calm, she is the sweetest most polite girl ever. I just wish "that" Ashlyn made her appearance all the time. She is obsessed with rainbows and drawing them. We have been taking daily rainbow hikes (searching for each color of the rainbow in nature). Luckily with St. Patricks day she saw lots of rainbows and was super excited to have a leprechaun visit her school, telling everyone she talked to. We also took a little day trip to Big Bone State lick to see the dinosaur fossils. When not at preschool we are having lots of play dates with Rylee & Parker & Caroline (who she loves to play mommy and baby with).

Not such a baby anymore, Ashlyn finally got out of bed on her own the morning of March 22nd. A day Matt has been hoping for for many months, but i've dreaded it. Luckily it hasn't led to getting out of bed at other times, but I fear that will change.

We had a potluck for St. Patty's Party, with a house full of friends and their kids. It was a fun way to celebrate the holiday! Am feeling lucky this month.... for lots of sunshine, and lots of happy smiles!

St. Patty's Rainbow, "good luck" snack for preschool

Taking their baby dolls out for a warm March stroll

A little boy with BIG dreams, I LOVE this picture!!

Looking bright and springy pretending to shop

Loving boy things....while wearing Ashlyn's pink shoes

A year and a half, can't even believe it!

My messy cooks making St. Patty's treats

Snoozing during lunch

Testing out his new teeth, ouch! Look at those little curls <3

Hiking with her best friend, Caroline

Best buddies Jack and Austin enjoying the free ride to see the buffalo

Looking more big boy than baby

Chucking the vitamin bottle across the kitchen

Showing big sister all his "boo boos"

An Unusual February

Hard to believe we started off the month with 61 degree weather. Mild winter is an understatement, we aren't even wearing coats. Makes for one happy stay at home momma though since we get to be outside enjoying the weather and keeping busy. Use to dread winter, but so far this year, can't say it's been all that bad. Certainly miss a thick white snowfall though, and i wouldn't mind putting the kids snow boots and pants to use (thank god we got hand me downs and didn't invest in any).

We had a free weekend, so hopped in the van and headed to Chicago to visit Ashley and Nick. Unfortunately the trip started with a pukey wake up call for me 2 hours after arriving. Ashlyn had a throw up bug 2 days before, which made it's way to me. Luckily it only lasted 12 hours for both of us, but was horrible either way!!! We spent the rest of the weekend dancing on the Kinect, eating yummy pizza, battling crowds at the children's museum, and enjoying the company of family. Nice that it's close enough for a weekend trip!

Looks like Austin is following in his big sisters footsteps.....both in language and skills. He is trying hard to sing his ABC's (at least the first 5 letters are understandable, then it's more a tune). He has also shown interest in going on the potty, which Ashlyn also did around 18 months. He'll go pee and try to push. I think he wants to hear the "pee pee in the potty" song more than anything, but i'll go with it. He also LOVES holding, pushing, and hugging Ashlyn's baby dolls. I love that having an older sister makes him more in tune with girly things, I think it's adorable and sweet.

As for Ashlyn, we are certainly having a napping dilemma these days. She still naps most everyday, but has her rare days of fighting it. What we are noticing is that she naps for 2 hours and then we can't get her to bed until like 9:30 at night. On the occasional days she does just read and sing in bed, at least she's exhausted and ready to go to sleep by 8:30. Hmm, every mommies nightmare.....do we give up naps?!?!?!

These days Ashlyn is coloring in the lines really well and making actual pictures. Every friday when we discuss getting dinner she chimes in by saying she wants egg drop soup or pizza. We have also started a new gymnastics class at 1:00 on Thursdays. It is a more advanced class with 4-5 year olds. She is doing well considering it is a full hour, and more structured. She has her moments, and gets off track at times but is working hard on her cartwheels and listening to the Miss Chelsea.

At the park on the first day of February

Checking out the monkey at the zoo with Caroline

Mr. smiley munching on his favorite snack of goldfish

My sweet Valentine showing off her preschool loot

Even with some tears from Austin, we shared our Valentine's love with friends

Our Valentine heart attack for daddy

Headed on a road trip to Chicago in Ducky's van

Uncle Nick practicing his Mr. Mom duties

Fun times at Uncle Nick and Aunt Ashes house

"Pee Pee in the Potty" with help from big sis

Easily entertained by anything ball related

A new skill, maybe?

Our favorite weekend hangout, Mimi and Papa's

Who couldn't love this face.... fishy face adorable!!